Monogamy . . . scientifically speaking

Research suggests we have a slim chance of staying with one partner. Understand how neuroscience looks at love.

Who hasn't heard about insecurities in love? Most of us at some time or the other have had to contend with the question-does he love me? Or the more vexing question, does he love me as much as he used to?

Helen Fisher, an anthropologist and researcher in this field, has found some interesting details about human love, trust and bonding. Going by her research, the human brain has three distinct motivation/reward systems for three areas of love: sex drive, romantic attraction and the longer lasting male-female attachment.

The sex drive evolved to motivate males and females to mate with an appropriate partner, romantic love to focus on the genetically appropriate partner and long-term deeper attachment for continuing this relationship and handling parental duties. However, Fisher points out that we can be deeply attached to one person, be romantically involved with another and feel sexual attraction for someone we have no attachment or romantic involvement with. While these motivation/reward networks in the brain are linked to each other, they are also somewhat independent of each other.

Interestingly, the brain chemicals that are released in each of these three situations are different as well. While sexual activity is modulated by the sex hormones, the romantic state has been likened to states of drug addiction and obsessive compulsive disorder. In fact, the brain chemicals involved in romantic love and these clinical conditions are similar! Dopamine and norepinephrine that are released when one is in the throes of romantic love increase focussed attention on the beloved, lead to feelings of ecstasy, increase energy and cause fear, anxiety and sleeplessness.

The low levels of serotonin associated with romantic love induce a state similar to obsessive compulsive disorder which induces one to constantly obsess about the loved one to the exclusion of everything else, including being preoccupied about-he loves me, he loves me not! While romantic love is a universally desired state because it gives our brain a high, feelings of trust and bonding (which actually keep relationships going) are equally important and have been part of a burgeoning field of brain research. Scientists have been interested in studying the love lives of the prairie vole, which is among the 3% of mammal species that appear to form monogamous relationships.

This fascinating research has focussed on what makes partners trust each other and also on what promotes monogamy. Following their ardent courting and mating, prairie voles bond for life. They prefer to spend time with each other, groom and nest together and interestingly completely avoid meeting other potential mates! When prairie voles have sex, two hormones, oxytocin and vasopressin, are released. Interestingly, oxytocin is the same hormone that is released when a mother bonds with her infant and is induced by breastfeeding. Paul Zak, a neuro-economist and trust researcher suggests that the secretion of oxytocin may be influenced by life experiences as well. Living in a safe, trusting and nurturing environment may help in the release of more oxytocin and also help us in reciprocating trust.

However, stress and isolation can result in just the opposite and lead to a biochemical state of distrust. How, then, does one combine romantic love with a deep affectionate bond? This is a complex field with no simple answers yet as there are many cultural, psychological and neuro-biological factors at play. It appears that the more nurturing and care you get, the more increase in oxytocin there is. This, in turn, makes you more trustworthy and care more for others-at least that's what the praire voles seem to tell us! Both neurochemical and MRI brain scan studies are, however, still trying to find answers.

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